This is kinda like the next episode of my last post.
Im so sorry for those who are expecting something super awesome, dramatic or glamorous from me and please bear with me if u find this post boring. But believe or not, my life has never been so blissful before. Im richly blessed, indeed! The true happiness and awesomeness of life are never defined by how many parties u attended, how many friends u have, how many hot guys u dated, but it is define by the things u've leant in the process of growing up in life, and through out the process, u found the true purpose and meaning of your life :)
Last Sunday, we sang this song "Jesus be the center" in church during worship. At first I really thought that this is just another worship song because Im actually quite familiar with this song. Right after the worship leader started the first verse of that song, "Jesus at the center of it all", the tears stream started to down on my face and I know it was the time for me to be completely honest to myself and to God as well.
I have been trying to escape myself from overcoming some issues in my life. Frankly speaking, my life is still full of pain, confusion, frustration and disappointment, and Im still struggling and wrestling, which has no contribution nor benefit to my mental disorder at all but will only make it worse. See, that's how stubborn and foolish I am and that's why I wonder how God could entrust the task of being His representative to imperfect person like me, and the amazing thing is, He even called me to be the salt and light of the world and He is actually making me His vessel. I guess this is how He shows me His glory, His grace and His forgiveness. Every time I think of this, I know that Im gonna just praise Him and worship Him until my last breath.
Alright, I've gone too far. Let's back to the topic. During the worship on last Sunday, I found out that I don't really mean my every song to God. Ouch! How sad is that and this is actually an insultation to Him! What the heck is that?!